How can this be?
I find myself falling
at a fast rate again.
But I swore to myself
the ultimate oath
of never giving away
my heart again.

I scare myself...
I do not run,
I stand and gawk.
Gawk at the wonders
that surround me.
I am happy again.
What is wrong with
being as such?

Is being one with two
really such a bad thing?
Is my mind full
of mortal sin
when I only see
what is the brighter side
when all seems dark
that is around me?

My formerly torchered mind
is sane all at once.
I live my life once again
with peace of though.
The once grey sky
is filled with not a cloud.

So what forces are agaisnt me?
They are the very ones that
I seek to make myself happy.
Life is a drug...
Happiness is cocaine,
for it always kills you
or simply messes you up inside.

Will I find the ecstas#y I seek,
or the scabs and scars
that have always follwed me
through out my living years?
Lord, let it be the ecstasy.